Fall is my absolute favorite season (I’m a basic bitch… it’s cool, I’ve accepted it).

I love the darker colors, I love wearing sweaters, and I love pumpkin stuff (don’t @ me, I already acknowledged by basic-ness). Usually my excitement for autumn is thwarted by California’s refusal to cool down until November, but this year, my fall fashion dreams have also been dashed thanks to coronavirus, fires, and vicious Seasonal Affective Disorder due to the first two things. So… since it’s too hot and gross to actually wear cute things and I can’t go anywhere anyway, I’ll create a virtual autumn wardrobe instead while crying into the tank tops I have to (but hate to) wear through November.

Here’s what I’d wear to…

Brunch With the Girls

My friends and I tend to look a bit like a murder of crows when going out (there’s a reason we call ourselves The Witches of Sacto), but black is so chic and timeless! Plus, more than a few of us may be reformed goths… Also, to be honest, I’m not really a morning person, so the more monochromatic the outfit, the more likely my chances are of getting out the door on time.

A typical brunch outfit for me would include a sweater or faux leather jacket, some cute but comfy boots (in case we decide to stumble around after eating), and a few witchy accessories like this felt hat and these crescent moon earrings by Bad Seed Designs. I’d also be sporting my trademark winged eyeliner to add to my mystique (JK, it’s the only way my eyes are visible in instagram pics LOL). I sometimes like to create a bit of contrast to my looks, and in this case, a romantic ivory dress like this one from Reformation is the perfect juxtaposition to the edginess of the black leather details. Plus, the tie waist is adjustable, so I’ll still be comfortable after my post-brunch food baby has developed.

Apple Picking with Family

Going to Apple Hill has been one of my favorite fall activities since I was a child. Granted, every year I go, I am forced to re-acknowledge that even small-town teenagers will always be cooler than me. Additionally, even when there is not a threat of a global pandemic, the sheer amount of bodies populating that small amount of land can illicit some queasiness if considered too closely. But I digress. Heading to Apple Hill on a cool and cloudy morning, driving through roads framed by trees covered in orange and gold foliage, and sinking your teeth into a freshly baked apple donut can make even the most jaded millennial temporarily forget their ennui.

I like to imagine that if I went to Apple Hill this year, it would be cool enough for me to dress in layers and I might even need a scarf! I’d want to keep it fairly casual with jeans, a chunky knit, and some converse, but cute enough that I wouldn’t be kicked out of the wine tasting room at Lava Cap. I could always toss the oversized jacket in the car if it seemed like a deal breaker. I’d further try to convince myself that it was cold by adding a bit of cream blush to my cheeks and nose. People will marvel at my ability to look so delightfully frostbitten in 70 degree weather!

After Work Dinner and Drinks

This outfit is pretty straight forward, but those who know me know I rarely wear color, so it’s honestly a bit of a leap. As such, I thought I’d fantasize about wearing a cute, mustard-colored sweater to work and happy hour! I’m dreaming real big here…

I’d pair it with houndstooth pants for visual interest, my trusty heeled boots, a leather camera bag, and a couple cute barrettes for whimsy. A friend of mine advised against wearing bright yellow, cautioning that I would look like “a white banana inside its peel”, so I’m hoping that perhaps the addition of a glossy, berry-colored lipstick would add some contrast to my very pale (apparently banana-esque) complexion. I also think there’s something impossibly chic about a dark lip print left on a rocks glass at the end of the night. Non?

Back to reality…

Though I really miss getting dressed up and going out with loved ones, these strange times have allowed me to refocus on that which I hold dear, and I try to remind myself that this too shall pass. At least for now, I can entertain myself with pretend outfits for imaginary excursions that will one day again be reality. I’m sure my wallet has appreciated the reprieve from my usual autumn shopping binge… and I suppose my liver has been thankful for the reduction of weekly brunch mimosas.

C’est la vie!